Originally Published in Feb. 2003
Time to Say Goodbye
Publisher’s Desk
By Sylvester Brown, Jr. / Founder & Publisher
Therein lies the fraction of doubt I have about this decision.
Yet, that is also the essential question that demands an answer. “What else can I do? What else should I do?” “What else am I supposed to do?” The answers to those queries are at the heart of Take Five’s departure from the St. Louis media scene. The decision is bolstered by a soothing inner voice that whispers, “you are blessed, you have always been blessed and your blessings will continue. Stop trying to dictate the journey.”
As Victoria and I sifted through our entire body of work what struck me most profoundly was the number of people that gave their time and energy to Take Five Magazine. Somehow we’ve managed to stumble upon a magnetic vehicle that attracted some of the most creative, talented and passionate of people. Fortunately they chose Take Five Magazine as a conduit for their greatness and I pray that they all feel acknowledged in this, our final issue.
It is my most fervent hope that after you’ve read this issue, you walk away not feeling sorry for us but empowered by our experience. Although it may be ending it is “the experience” that I humbly celebrate. Despite the attention given to me regarding Take Five, there’s nothing special about me. I’m just an average Joe who has had an amazing ride. I may have created this vehicle but the universe did the rest. All Victoria and I did was give our best for 15 years.
By simply putting myself on this path I was given instant support. Somehow the right people always showed up at the right time. For example, I look at the two women that I depend on most to deliver Take Five consistently --Vicki and Lori. I realize that it was no accident that our paths crossed. Both women have immeasurable talent and their writings are comparable (or better) than the coverage one finds in any major national magazines or newspapers.
Victoria and Lori have always represented the courageous heart of Take Five Magazine. With the nurturing spirit that only women and mothers possess, they drug out their arsenal of talent to shine the light of decency and common sense on so many stories, commentaries and articles. It was Vicki’s and Lori’s matriarchal hearts and overworked fingers that gave us the inside scoop on people like Kirk Collins, Julius Thurman, Jerome Johnson and so many other cases of police misconduct.
At her heart Lori is a gifted poet. She has allowed us to ride her groovy wave of rhythmic articulation into the world of international double standards, human rights violations and local inhumanity. She did this without letting on that she was educating and informing with meticulously chosen words.
I can’t count the number of times when Vicki would come to me after watching the news coverage of a certain event and say, “We’ve got to do something on this.” If I felt we couldn’t, she’d go out and find a way to do it herself. Although we received much credit for the Yeamane Hughes story and the Gregory Bell investigative series, it was Vicki that felt it was imperative that she get involved and fully investigate and inform the community.
We have been told that Take Five is one of the best-edited publications in the region. That credit goes to Victoria Anton-Brown, Take Five’s editor. It is she who has made our words sing and sometimes sting. It is she that rearranges and polishes up my mad ramblings before the title “Publisher’s Desk” is slapped on it. Not only have I been blessed to have her as a critic, motivator, business partner and true friend, I have her as my wife and the mother of our two children.
We are all pre-programmed to do great things. I believe that God, a universal higher power (however one defines it) supports and nurtures us all. I’ve come to believe that if we decide to do something – anything, the universe will support it and put us in alignment with others with similar hearts and vision. I use nature as my example. Everything the tree needs to grow and flourish is already here, standing at the ready to help it grow and reach its full potential.
The universe however, is not judgmental. It doesn’t take the time to discern right or wrong, good or bad, it just gives energy. The life force given to the flower is equally bestowed to the tornado. If we decide to place our energy on bad or foolish things, the universe will support our efforts. In its wisdom however, it leaves us to learn from our experiences and deal with the consequences. I have learned much from this experience.
Take Five, by virtue of the dedication and energy put into it, was destined to succeed. With time it would have gotten better and stronger. But there would have been a price to pay and I’m not sure the end result justifies the means. Simply put, at this time, I don’t believe that St. Louis is ready to fully support a publication like Take Five or many of the other Black businesses and institutions here. No matter how I tried to optimistically deny it, it’s a reality that I’ve now come to grips with.
For so many of the Take
Five years, I’ve lived for that “I told you so” moment. That day when I could point to all the
naysayers and critics and definitively say, “I told you this would work!” I wanted it to be a financial success. I wanted to tell those that have supported us
over the year; “see the struggle was worth it!”
I’ve now come to realize that Take Five has become more about my ego and the “I told you so” moments than the reality surrounding it. Like so many imperfect human beings, I was trying to dictate how greatness should be expressed. I’ve learned that sometimes it’s not our call to dictate life’s journey; it’s the call of the universe.
For so many years I’ve ignored all the signs that make it difficult to operate a Black-owned publication in this region. This is not Chicago, New York, Atlanta or Houston – this is St. Louis – racially polarized, politically stagnated St. Louis. White businesses are not hard pressed to advertise in Black newspapers here. They give crumbs to the Black press and we’re supposed to fight over our tiny share. Why advertise when Blacks in St. Louis flock to White businesses without an invitation?
Black St. Louis has a lot of growing up to do also. This is the city where a Black-owned crime mag called the Evening Whirl is supported and predominantly displayed above the candy rack at confectionaries and gas stations. It’s a city where the Partyline is followed more closely than party politics. St. Louis is a majority Black city where the reigns of power has been voluntarily turned over to Whites. In this city the most ballyhooed accomplishment of the Black elite is that they manage to raise millions each year for the United Way.
Although I’m still confident that the city will eventually change, I’m less confident in how quickly that change will occur. Take Five, in my mind, was supposed to be a reflection of movement. It was supposed to be a tool of progressive communication that led to something positive, something different, and something holistic for the community. It was never intended to be a status quo publication. At this time, in order to succeed it would have had to conform to the norm. We’ve come to far to go backward.
The
publishing game is a money game. It’s
obvious now that Take Five was never
about the money. It wasn’t about money
for all of the people that gave their resources, time and talent to keep it on
the streets. Perhaps it should have been
about the money, perhaps it could have been – but it simply wasn’t. The birth of Take Five came from a
desire to make a difference and Victoria and I can proudly say that it lived up
to that mandate.
Although I still get the heebie-jeebies when I hear the words “what are you gonna do now?” I have to remind myself that I’ve been here before. When I once lost what was perceived as a “secure” job years ago, my friends and family members fretted about my future. The universe provided the answer then – it provided Take Five Magazine. Now, I must be like the tree. I have to believe that I am surrounded by the wisdom of the universe and the universe will provide like it always has.
There’s
an old saying that the hippie generation made very popular. “If it feels right,
do it.” I’ve always been a bit impetuous
and I have made decisions based on how it felt deep inside. For all these years, no matter what the
struggle was – it just felt right to do Take Five Magazine. It felt natural, it felt good, and it felt
like we were supposed to be here doing what we do. Now, considering all the factors I’ve
mentioned and some that I didn’t, it feels the same way. Deep down, it feels right. It feels like the time to say “goodbye.”
All that we’ve ever asked of our readers was to “take five” and consider a different view from a different perspective. In return, we’ve gotten much more. For 15 years we’ve had the chance to “strut our stuff,” make mistakes, improve our skills and gather an army of souls who shared and supported our vision. This may be the last issue of Take Five Magazine but it’s not the last we’ll see of the spirit that created it. I am confident that the seed that grew into Take Five, still exists. It exists in numerous hearts and minds and the universe will see that it sprouts again to its full potential. Our mission is complete because we lovingly tended the seed for 15 years. Now the seed is again in your hands. Our request is the same as it always was; take five, take action, take care, and let it grow.
Thanks for all the years - Sylvester
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And Me Without My Words
by Victoria Anton-Brown / Editor
I’ve had a big lump in my throat lately and I'm not sure why. In the time we at Take Five began working on this final edition in earnest to now, as I sit writing this farewell column, the war in Iraq began and ended (at least for "our side"). I found that to be remarkable and it really bothered me. “How could that be?” I asked my friend Lori Reed on the phone late one night. In one short sentence she said it all, “I guess it just takes longer to create than to destroy.”
I gulped at what she had said and the lump wasn't there anymore, at least for a moment.
It was much the same for me at an anti-war protest in March. Caught up in the desperate desire to avoid this thing we were about to unleash against the citizens of Iraq, I was struggling to catch my breath. The lump again. Then, my 7-year-old daughter Lexi picked up her camera and shot a picture of an Iraqi child on a poster. I was awed that of all the images she saw -- shouting protesters, flags of nations, banging drums -- she chose the image of another child. Innocence drawn to innocence. I had to capture the moment. I screamed to Sylvester who had brought our camera. “Take a picture, take a picture,” I said pointing at our daughter. I needed the words that would be told in that picture.
I guess it's the words I need sometimes to help me breathe. I need them to guide me to understanding, to take me to a different place, to counsel me to a point of healing.
What a remarkable opportunity I've had, then, to work for this magazine for 13 1/2 years. The words our writers chose took me to that place of healing, past the anger at whatever was being reported, to a better place. The words printed in Take Five by some of the most remarkable people I have ever met provided the elixir I seemed to need to keep my emotions from catching with no where to go.
That explains my lump, I suppose. Take Five is no more. My magical remedy is gone. It's back to reading and watching the news as reported by the mainstream press. I don't get to be the first to read Lori's wisdoms or Sylvester's incredible analyses anymore. I don't get to investigate when children are beaten by those sworn to serve and protect or write about the hard work of really good people in the community.
I'm going to miss the outlet we Take Five writers and artists shared for our collective indignation and outrage -- this need to express when it seems the whole world's gone mad. I'll miss the columns the most. Free from the constraints of unbiased, objective reporting, columnists like Sylvester Brown, Lori Reed, Jabari Asim, Fontella Scott-Bradford, Chris Hayden, Johnson Lancaster were free to simply report on the human condition as they saw it.
Sometimes it wasn't the whole world's story, just the story of one small child trying to make it in this big world, as Lori wrote in "Are You a Mama?" back in 1998. At the time Lori worked at a center for abused and neglected children. She shared these words with Take Five: "A little girl who's been on this planet for less than one presidential term is 'playing.' She has power, this baby girl. When she doesn't care to be bothered, she doesn't have to raise a hand or even speak much. The weight of her glare is enough to make the kids back off…"
In her piece, Lori continues a tale of her two-week battle with a child who loves to swing but refuses to go it alone. She must be pushed, she spits invectives at all who try to help her learn to soar alone. "She's crying soundlessly. I think I know why," Lori continues in her column. "I think she doesn't know how to accept an offer of help. I think she doesn't trust anything that comes her way unless she's bullied someone out of it…."
Motivated by the sheer desire to swing, the child tries -- finally -- to swing her legs. She watches as Lori sits on the edge of a sandbox making motions as though she too is swinging. The column continues: "I begin a rhythmic chant to accompany my movements. 'Baaaaack and foooorth, baaaaack and fooorth.' I'm shocked and moved by what happens next. The other equally damaged, self-involved, antisocial kids notice what I'm doing, sit beside me and take up the chant.'Baaaaack and foooorth, baaaaack and foooorth.' Our voices coalesce into a supportive embrace...”
The child has done it. “...I pick her up, squeeze her tight,” Lori recounts. “She doesn't stiffen up. Tomorrow, she will resume her habitual bad temper but today she is smiling shyly ... 'I knew you could do it, you went sooooo high! I am so proud of you.' She raises her head from my shoulder. She looks at me, this beautiful, desperately unhappy child. Her eyes search my face with a compelling mix of intensity, curiosity and diffidence. In a small guarded voice, she asks, ‘Are you a mama?’”
It was this kind of storytelling that balanced out the harshness of life, the cruelty we often had to report, the sheer audacity of those in power doing nothing to stop whatever evils we had placed them in power to stop. There was little righting of wrongs in 15 years, but a lot of good reporting in Take Five, I think. But again, it was the columns that made it all go down easier. More times than I can recall, Sylvester provided me with the words I needed to face the job of putting an issue out. It was his “Publisher’s Desk” that often made me most proud. I will never forget the sheer exhilaration I felt while editing his piece, “The Messenger.” In this dream scenario column, Gregory Bell guided Sylvester through the streets of St. Louis, to the sites of 1998’s worst moments.
My all-time favorite Sylvester Brown creation, however, is Uncle Ray. In October 2000, Sylvester wrote: Sometimes when I’m in a deep, deep sleep, I dream that I can confront Uncle Ray (Racism) … I imagine I can scold him and question him and find the secret to his power so I can help destroy him once and for all…
“Ray! Ray! Get your butt over here!” I was on the roof of the new criminal justice center downtown. Uncle Ray likes to hang out in tall places. That way he can keep an eye on what’s going on in the city. The last time we talked, we were on top of the Arch, but Ray likes the new place better. It’s the tallest building in town and it amuses him to watch disproportionate numbers of young Black men being incarcerated.
“Who dat?” Ray’s ancient, crotchety voice calls back to me.
“It’s me. We need to talk,” I answer…
I thought I would feel relief when this final edition is finished, but now I wonder. When we hand over the box of words and images to our printer, I'll be left without therapy in a world that is just the same as it has always been. And me without my words, the words that always have been and always will be what Take Five is about.
***********************
Take Five’s Senior Writers and Editors / In Profile
Lori Reed
Lori debuted on Take Five’s masthead in July 1994 for her profile on Katherine Dunham. She has served as a book reviewer, columnist, feature writer, investigative writer and as the magazine’s senior writer. In recent years, Lori has brought international affairs to the front pages of Take Five. Her story about the deaths of millions in the Congo and her analysis of Iraq under economic sanctions placed U.S. foreign policy in question at a time when mainstream press was turning a blind eye to it.
***********************
Jabari Asim
Jabari Asim is perhaps the most influential African American literary critic of his generation. As a senior editor of Washington Post Book World, he helps determine coverage of not just black literature but also poetry, essays, fiction and nonfiction created around the world. In addition, his oped column on national affairs appears each Monday on washingtonpost.com. Before coming to Book World, he worked as book editor of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, during which time he was the only African American to supervise book/publishing coverage at a major metropolitan daily.
An accomplished poet, playwright and fiction writer, Asim has published work in a number of anthologies and literary magazines. He was the only writer to have both poetry and fiction included in In The Tradition: An Anthology of Young Black Writers (Harlem River Press); his short story "Two Fools" appeared in Brotherman: The Odyssey of Black Men in America (Ballantine); and his poems, along with "Peace, Dog," a one-act play, were published in Soulfires: Young Black Men on Love and Violence (Viking Penguin). His critical essay, "What Is This New Thing?" appears in The Furious Flowering of African-American Poetry, edited by Joanne V. Gabbin and published by University Press of Virginia. An excerpt from his novel-in-progress appeared in Brown Sugar: A Collection of Erotic Black Fiction (Plume); his poetry was published in African American Writers: A Literary Reader (McDougal Littell); and an essay appeared in Step Into A World: A Global Anthology of The New Black Literature (Wiley & Sons). This year his poetry was published in the anthologies Role Call: A Generational Anthology of Social & Political Black Literature & Art (Third World Press), and Beyond The Frontier: African-American Poetry for the 21st Century (Black Classic Press). His poems will next appear in From The Black Arts Movement to Furious Flower: A Collection of Contemporary African American Poetry (Johns Hopkins University Press).
The Road To Freedom, his first novel for young readers, was published in 2000 by NTC/Contemporary. He is editor of Not Guilty: Twelve Black Men Speak Out on the Law, Justice and Life, published in November 2001 by Amistad/HarperCollins.
His forthcoming books include The N Files, a cultural history of white supremacy, to be published by Houghton Mifflin in 2004 and Rumpshaker Nation, a collection of essays on politics and popular culture, to be published by Houghton Mifflin in the Spring of 2005. Jabari Asim lives in Silver Springs, Maryland, with his wife Liana and their five children.
***********************
Fontella Scott Bradford
“This was one of those stories, I believe, that just came to represent what Take Five is about,” said Take Five editor Victoria Anton-Brown. “Armed with very few resources, Fontella set out to reinvestigate a flawed case. Sifting through a file cabinet of transcripts and police reports, Fontella with great heart and care told a tragic story that begged the question: Did those imprisoned commit the crime? It’s a question we all to often have to ask. Fontella’s writing in this story and in her many columns and stories revealed a depth of talent and heart we relied upon to set the tone for the many justice stories to come.”
Fontella eventually left Take Five for a position at Mosby Publishing Company. She and her husband, Terry, have a young son. We at Take Five wish her well and thank her for her work and commitment to the cause.
***********************
Margena Christian
Throughout the years, Christian has interviewed a host
of notables ranging from music (Ja Rule, Nelly, Jay-Z, Lil’ Kim, Alicia Keys,
Missy Elliott, Brian McKnight, Lenny Kravitz, the late Aaliyah) to movies
(Halle Berry, Cuba Gooding Jr., Chris Tucker, Vivica A. Fox and the Kings of
Comedy—Bernie Mac, D.L. Hughley, Steve Harvey and Cedric “The Entertainer”).
Hired in 1995, she began her career with JPC as an assistant editor. Two years later, she was promoted to associate editor. During her tenure at the Johnson Publishing Company, Christian has written articles for Ebony Man and Ebony South Africa.
Margena is featured in Dr. Michael Eric Dyson’s book Why I Love Black Women.
***********************
Cassandra J. Hamilton
“Cassandra came along at a time when Take Five was
learning to stand and take its first journalistic baby steps,” said Take Five
publisher Sylvester Brown, Jr. “I
realized she had changed after the Ellen Reasonover story. Not only was she determined to tell that
story, she saw Take Five’s future role as a tool to challenge all sorts
of injustices. Her stories and columns
highlighted individual cases and challenged the double-standards and subtle
biases of government and the mass media.”
Chris Hayden
Born in 1950 in Centralia, Illinois, Chris Hayden is an attorney turned hardworking poet. His poems have appeared in Drumvoices, Break Word With The World, Ever Dancing Muse, Black Thought, Intermission Magazine, Riveting Poetry Supplement, Delmar, and the e-zines Eat Poop, Eccentricity And Kinte-Space. His poem, "The Quiet Zone" appeared in the anthology Ain’t But A Place, edited by Gerald Early.
“Chris’ many contributions to Take Five both as a writer and friend are priceless,” said Sylvester Brown. “His words in Take Five revealed an insight into the world we live in like no other perspective. We are grateful to Chris for all his wisdom.”
In the wake of the Columbine High School shootings in April 1999, Chris contributed a column entitled “God Help Us All.” The excerpt, as follows, reveals the many insights Chris brought to Take Five:
“…The lack of God in school, home and society, bad parenting, too much freedom, the Internet, the easy availability of guns, violence in the media and entertainment, racism. They will all be loudly declaimed as The Problem.
We will examine these pro and con in great detail, with great vehemence. Then, if we act true to form, we’ll be exhausted by the effort and the magnitude of the work needed to correct these scourges, we’ll slap a Band-Aid on, and then we’ll go back to the Business of the Nation, which is Business until the Next Time…”
***********************
Johnson Young Lancaster
A journalist since 1976, Johnson worked for Howard University’s newspaper (The Hill Top), the Afro American, The Informer, Positive Energy Newsletter, North County Journal, the St. Louis Globe Democrat, and the St. Louis American. Today, he is a copy editor at the Belleville News-Democrat.
Johnson’s insights into the state of the African American community, journalism and publishing are invaluable to St. Louis. “Everyone, it seems, knows Johnson Lancaster,” said Sylvester Brown. “His 20 plus years at Progressive Bookstore and his involvement with Sudan Illustrators made him one of the most active educators for and about the African American experience in St. Louis. There is nothing you can’t ask of Johnson without tapping into a fountain of knowledge. He brought wisdom, deep analysis and the kindest of hearts to Take Five. We are forever grateful to him.”
***********************
Frederick McKissack Jr.
Fred McKissack recently joined The Wisconsin State Journal as a
general assignment features writer. He
previously worked as the cultural editor for The Progressive magazine. Fred
has also worked for The Sporting News, Belleville News-Democrat
and The Edwardsville Intelligencer, as well as contributed articles to The
Washington Post, Vibe, The Source, The Capital Times,
and Isthmus.
Fred is the co-author of Black Diamond: The Story of the Negro
Baseball Leagues, a 1995 Coretta Scott King Honor Book, and a contributor
to the anthology Not Guilty: Twelve Black Men Speak out on Law, Justice, and
Life.
Fred and his wife, Lisa, live in Madison, Wisconsin.
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